My neck, my back T-Shirt - Unisex

"My Neck, My Back, My Anxiety Attack" Possum T-Shirt – Regular Fit

Description:
"When life hits you like a midlife crisis in a parking lot—this possum gets it. Flat on its back, staring into the void, and absolutely not dealing with today’s nonsense. For anyone who’s ever fake-died to avoid responsibility (or just genuinely needed a minute).

"In case of emotional collapse: 1. Accept floor as home. 2. Snack. 3. Deny everything."

🔥 5-STAR REVIEW (from a fellow floor-dweller):
"Tried to model this shirt standing up—failed immediately. The fabric is perfect for horizontal existential dread. 10/10 accuracy for my current emotional and physical state. Would wear to therapy (if I could get off the floor)." ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Why It’s Relatable:

• For when existing is a full-body workout.

• Mood: "I’m not lazy, I’m pre-grieving my own potential."

• Pairs well with: Unanswered texts, stress-napping, and pretending you’re meditating when you’re actually dissociating.

Fabric & Fit:

• 100% cotton – Because elastic waistbands are the real luxury.

• Regular fit – Fits all positions: fetal, starfish, or "help, I’ve folded myself into a laundry basket."

Perfect For:

• People who’ve ever whispered "I’m just gonna lie here until I become the carpet."

• Possum enthusiasts (aka those who understand the art of strategic collapse).

• Anyone who’s googled "can anxiety cause physical paralysis?" (Spoiler: Maybe.)

Warning:

• May induce sympathetic paralysis in bystanders.

• Side effects include unplanned naps and sudden urges to hiss at minor inconveniences.